I'll never forget the first time I witnessed the awesome spectacle of George Michael's "Too Funky" video. I was already borderline obsessed with fashion in the mid-1990's and thought highly of Michael's supermodel-laden "Freedom 90" video, but the visual candy of "Too Funky" as designed, styled and directed by then notorious fashion designer Thierry Mugler made the voyeuristic appeal and "freeing" acts of destruction that comprise the "Freedom 90" video seem trite by comparison. I don't care how precious and pretty Linda Evangelista looked as she lip synched inside her sweater, I'd rather see her (along with Christy Turlington, Tyra Banks, Eva Herzgovina and, my favorite, Nadja Auermann, to name a few) strutting her actual supermodel stuff on an actual catwalk, flaunting actual fashion while George Michael repeats, "everybody wants a lover like that," which is precisely what the "Too Funky" music video delivers, and in such a fabulous manner that it cannot possibly be copied -- sorry En Vogue.

So, how about that "Motorbike" dress? Pretty amazing isn't it? Certainly not for everyday wear, but a girl's gotta have options. I remember thinking this playful ensemble shocking, in a good way. Actually, after having just viewed the 'director's cut' of the "Too Funky" video, I got to thinking about what the definition of shocking was a little over ten years ago as far as the mainstream media is concerned. Of course, I got to thinking about everything Madonna: her "Lucky Star" midriff beginnings, her metal-bound Sex book, Erotica, the "Justify My Love" video and a particular scene from her Blonde Ambition tour documentary Madonna - Truth or Dare where Madge is informed by Canadian police that she'll be arrested if she touches herself suggestively during her performance of "Like A Virgin." With Madonna the list goes on and on, but if one were to judge her overall shock value by the percentage of the audience that sings along to her tune, counting both lovers and haters alike, I bet there wouldn't be any shocking findings at all, at any point in her career. Perhaps she really has done it all. And if that be the case, what in the world can be deemed shocking today? For my part, I'd like to submit Katsuhito Ishii's film Funky Forest: the First Contact (two disc DVD now out from Viz Media) for review, as it's the most shocking thing I've seen recently.

So far, I love all the Ishii films I've been able to lock my sights on: Sharkskin Man and the Peach Hip Girl, Party 7, Taste of Tea -- I love them so much I cannot pick a favorite; they're like candy. One of the main reasons I felt shock when I watched Funky Forest for the first time is that it fulfilled all my expectations while successfully deflating them at the same time. It's like when someone decides to give you a 'sexy' cake for your birthday. Of course you didn't expect to get a cake shaped like giant genitals, but you did expect cake and there is no question about whether or not you're gonna eat it. But is it tasty? Funky Forest is a tasty cake of a movie diguised as disjointed, patchwork quilt handstiched by your reclusive little Edie Beale looking, ex-showgirl aunt who happens to moonlight as a Chris Cunningham mutant who watches too much TV Carnage. Threads of several stories are woven loosely with only a few coinciding; however, belly laughs and nervous giggles abound as situations break off, start up and proceed to get weirder and weirder. It's unlike any of his previous films; it's certainly funky and totally fun.

 Sweeney Todd is a villain who began as an urban legend sometime around 1800 and was, a few decades later, the protagonist of a penny dreadful called The People's Periodical which was published in 1846. The issue was titled The String of Pearls: A Romance written by Thomas Prest, a popular writer who also wrote Varney the Vampire which I've wanted to get a copy of ever since I was in third grade.

Another popular urban legend of Victorian London was that the unsuspecting victims ended up in meat pies.

There was no evidence of Sweeney Todd having been an actual character nor that anyone turned up in the popular takeaway dish but when the story was turned into a play in 1847 the advertising claimed that it was "founded in fact."




Remember that lady that claimed to find a finger in her chili at Wendy's? Of course she turned out to be a serial scam-artist and got sentenced to nine years. I think if I found an identifiable piece of meat in my fast food chili it would actually be sort of comforting like, "Hey- at least it's not the pig's genitals!" ... but meat-eaters are a crazy bunch with all sorts of hang-ups about what species are good (chicken, cow, fish, lobster and pig) and what are bad (cat, dog, horse, cockroach or person). So picky!

One of my favorites has recently been upgraded to a special edition DVD. Nightmare on Elm Street is of course available in a great box set with all 7 films and a bonus disc.  There is a commentary on the first film and the bonus disc has some great stuff. But this release of the film is really great. The entire film has remastered picture and sound. It also includes some awesome documentaries. "Never Sleep Again" - the making of the film, "The House that Freddy Built" - documentary on New Line cinema, and "Night Terrors" - the origins of Wes Craven's nightmares. Also includes a great audio commentary with director Wes Craven, stars Heather Langenkamp and the great John Saxon, and cinematographer Jacques Haitkin. The DVD also includes alternate endings and a fun trivia game to play. This is enough extra stuff to make your purchase of this DVD totally necessary. But it also includes "InfiniFilm" interactive features.  You can watch the film normally or with pop-up prompts. The prompts allow you to access great extra bonus footage and trivia.

Nightmare on Elm Street was originally released in 1984. Wes Craven was already becoming famous for his horror movies. He already directed "The Last House on the Left," "The Hills Have Eyes" and "Swamp Thing." Nightmare one Elm Street was not  the first horror franchise series. Halloween was already well on its way with 3 movies and Friday the 13th was on to its fourth. But there was something special about Nightmare on Elm Street. The villains in Halloween and Friday the 13th were basically serial killer types basically acting out on their revenge issues against teens who had sex. However Freddy Kruger was different. But again it dealt with revenge. He was a child molester and killer burned alive by a group of parents. He had some how come back to haunt the children of those parent in their dreams. But he could actually kill them in their dreams. The kids must learn to "never sleep again" or battle Freddy in their dreams.